This Lost Shadow 

I wrote this poem early in the year of 2012, and I was lucky enough to have the work published by Numen Books. “Melpomene”, a collection of poems, both old and new, Edited by Gwendolyn Taunton. Available through “Amazon Books”. A review of the book via this link  https://gwendolyn-taunton.com/reviews-2/melpomene-editions-laurence-teper/

This Lost Shadow

 

I’m writing this song for my body and for my soul.

I’m singing this song, about my return from the cold.

Why am I so tired, is sixty that old.

Why am I so sore, have I been far too bold.

I’m so physically worn, and so mentally torn.

I’m so worried about my every waking dawn.

I’m thinking of this oppressive life, for you and for me.

I’m wondering if this vigilant life’s, too hard for me.

I’m deliberating if this tragic life, shall continue to be.

And feeling this bonded life’s, drifting out to sea.

 

I’m penning these words for everyone to see.

I’m writing this book about a single weeping tree.

Why am I so sleepy, am I aging too quickly.

Why am I so sad, who’s looking after me.

I’m this furnace log, burning up with glee.

I’m this sinking boat, all about to flee.

I’m this over-burden camel, or a donkey maybe.

I’m this empty desert, a void, far as the eye can see.

I’m this broken branch, withering and dying, oh so slowly.

I’m this lost shadow, wandering this barren land furtively.

 

Ivor Steven.

 

 

Published by

ivor20

G'day, and welcome to my blog site. My name is Ivor Steven, I live in Geelong, Australia. I'm an ex-industrial chemist, and a retired plumber, and a former Carer of my wife(Carole), for 30 years, who suffered from severe MS. I Write poetry about those personal thoughts, throughout and beyond my life as a Carer. I've been blogging for over 2 years, and writing poems for 19 years. Of course a lot of my poems are about my favourite subject Carole, but since I've been blogging my writings have become quite varied, humourous, mystical, observational, and even a few monster/horror poems.

36 thoughts on “This Lost Shadow ”

  1. Nice work Ivor 🙂 Some of the poems I have posted are a few years old also. I wrote a few on my original website, Spirit’s Pages Of Music & Love. I used Oceanspirit as my name. I closed it down a few years ago but I saved all the html codes, images, music, poetry, etc.
    You and I are kindred spirits my friend 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So wonderful and so personal. Are you talking about my life too? There’s something about being past 60 that frightens the s##t out of me. I can’t be this old! Is this old? Did I used to ache this much? Forget this much? It sucks. The only light at the end of the tunnel is that the tunnel is packed with people like you and me.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks again Claudia, I loved your words, “The only light at the end of the tunnel is that the tunnel is packed with people like you” and I’m so pleased to have friends like you. ♡♡♡

      Like

    1. I wrote wrote this when I was 60, now I’m 66, I think”😄 we often question our existence, and I go through my ups and downs, but basically l return to the fact that I’m still enjoying life, and I always reflect upon that “Everlasting Smile” and say to myself, wow, Ivor, you’ve nothing to grizzle about, yep, life, it’s all relative ♡♡♡

      Liked by 4 people

  3. This is beautiful Ivor!
    The depths of suffering, loneliness and the conflicts of existence. The tragedy of a thinker not only an normal aging person. You have experienced so much. You drowned and made it to the surface again and again. You have fought and you have learned to love yourtself, to bring you forward. To see the meaning of life and to observe the nonsense of society. You have your values ​​and you are worth it. Rightly so!
    And then the question of whether the tragic life should continue to be like this. Maybe, whether it’s tragic at all, or whether your fight has taken you to a place of peace …. with yourself. The question, do you want changes, do you even want your dreams to come true? What an irony of fate, if the universe would offer you exactly that. Would you take it? Or Is it too late? Do you want this short seeming luck, or do you deny and go the suffering but immortel way of the artist and the way of the soul that achieves clarity?
    A very simple, childlike opinion of me for you and all the people who are able to think like that. You are so and so great, talented and ingenious. Age does not matter. I know some people who were in love again at the age of 70 and started a new partnership and had a happy few years. That does not mean that the soul has to go away or not, that the creativity is stopped. What you reached already will never get lost and sometimes you just have to take what you get offered without too much think about the pro and contras. Stay spontanous, curious and honest to others and yourself like a child, because you know that loosing your childhood means already dying.
    As far as my thoughts, which have become somewhat independent …. excuse me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Anie, from the bottom my heart, from the centre of my mind, and from the universe of my soul, I’m totally grateful for your wonderful summary of my poem, and your beautiful words of praise, and I thoroughly appreciate your insightful encouragement. You’ve emotionally, deeply touched me. Wish I could give you a hug of gratitude and let my tears of liquid joy gently fall upon your compassionate shoulder xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You shame me, Ivor! I am very touched that my words move you as they occupy my mind. Life is so hard and the suffering that we inflict unleashes unimagined powers but the soul not only grows, it also suffers. I wonder and wish so much that the soul may also grow with joy, happiness and a physical life in togetherness and tenderness. I want to be free, never grow up and allow myself to create my own world that will make body and soul happy.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. its sad yet perfect for a tired soul like mine to read and feel enveloped by the tenderness. i melt with such beauty of thought and words. its no wonder it was selected. a poem from the depths of your sorrow and uncertainty of the future. mu hugs to you across the seas Ivor. I miss the love you write about too. I think your soul is still very young and carefree, let it soar!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Gina, the poem holds a special place in my heart, all those years ago, its was nearly my last poem ever, I thought there was no more for me to say, no more words, could express any more. ….. But with support and help I survived, and wow, I ended up being brave enough to get more words published, and having the lifetime thrill of having my most treasured words published in the book along side my favourite authors Edgar Allan Poe, Emily Dickinson, Charles Baudelaire, Paul Verlaine and William Blake, and all my dreams of writing had come true, as if my Carole had ordained it to be so. “you’re not lost Ivor, I’m here with you always” xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. she will always be your biggest cheerleader! belief is so crucial but I think above all she respected you and your talent. it is so wonderful to be published isnt it! I have a few poems out there in some anthologies and some stories as well as a regular spot in a local magazine but I don’t really chronicle them. Emily D and Blake are a favourite too, but my heart belongs to Yeats, none can compare to his mystical beauty.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. In harmony with your words Ivor brings relaxation and wellbeing as I’ve said somewhere before long may the ink continue to flow through your veins. On an entirely different note I see you are the younger of us three poets, you know who I mean?

    Liked by 1 person

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