How Many Books Do I Take On The Cruise

I’m sailing on my Pacific cruise on Saturday 31st, off to the New Caledonian Islands, and I’ve not had a holiday for three years, and I’m looking forward to my trip. Hehehe, although I’ve still to dispose of that wicked witch !!


Ripe Tomatoes And A Garden Spade

Only another week to go

I’ll be on the cruise

I’m not feeling nervous

More that I’m fearful

Scared my plan might go amiss

Before the high seas deliver bliss


Taking two suitcases is normal

Other passengers may have three

I won’t look suspicious

I’ve bagged her precisely

Chopped her into small pieces

Stored separately in the freezer


The old witch, I caught her trespassing

In my private courtyard

Stealing my precious cherry tomatoes

I whacked her with my garden spade

Across the top of her green head

I didn’t hit her too hard

She lay there bleeding, not dead

How dare she come into my yard

She’s pleading with me, no mercy I said

As I dragged her into the shed.


Ivor Steven (c)  2018


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Hi, and welcome to my blog site. My name is Ivor Steven, I live in Geelong, Australia. I'm a retired, part-time plumber, and a former Carer of my wife(Carole), for 30 years, who suffered from severe MS. I Write poetry about those personal thoughts, throughout and beyond my life as a Carer. I've been blogging for 18 months, and writing poems for nearly 18 years. Of course a lot of my poems are about my favourite subject Carole, but since I've been blogging my writings have become quite varied, humourous, mystical, observational, and even a few monster/horror poems.

40 thoughts on “How Many Books Do I Take On The Cruise”

  1. Take a Kindle or install a Kindle app on your phone or tablet etc and you can carry all of your books with you! 🙂 Have fun disposing of that old witch. I usually just throw mine in a bottomless pit of quicksand – beats the neck out of having to dig a hole in my backyard! LOL 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My bet is you will not have time to read much if at all! The program is full on from morning till night, with so much to choose from you will be scratching your head which to choose. Take full advantage of it all, Ivor. You can join walking groups morning and evening on the top deck. You can listen to lectures from all kinds of professionals from health and fitness to baristas and jewellers. There are art auctions and crafting classes. Tours of the ship and its galley. Ice carving exhibition, cake decorating competitions and towel folding demos (serious – the fancy animal kind). The latest movies. Live music in the cocktail bar. Evening shows with class acts – every night. Dress up dinners. And so many restaurants to choose from it will leave your head spinning. Oh, and then there’s the first class restaurant that costs (very cheap for a la carte dining) but be sure to book yourself in first thing if you want to go as it fills up really quickly. And then of course there are all sorts of tours in the ports you stop at if you want to go on them. They cost. We did the cultural ones – so interesting. That’s the types of things I can recall from our cruise. I learnt the paper art of quilling!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A vacation,a garden happiness= it can all be fearful,cherry tomatoes, a ship goes sailing into a sea
    But then some fear is good,just not all consuming,throw chance to the wind
    Enjoy for the both of us
    Its all good Ivor

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No cherry tomatoes on board, no fear, the witch is dead,(Whoops, ex-girlfriend, she was on my previous cruise a few years ago), I’ll be dancing, and drinking, I’ll shout to you, a toast or two to you.


  4. Just wanted you to know that anna of is actually Nandita Yata, pretending to be someone else and talking to herself about herself. It’s messed up.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. OMG! 😨 I didn’t realize… besides being so sweet… how horrifically dark you are! Lol!

    Loved this! And… I hope you have a lovely trip! You deserve some fun! Hugs my sweet friend!


    Liked by 1 person

      1. The story is about that ex-girlfriend who hurt me badly, and my last cruise 3 years ago was with her, and used to grow vegetables/tomatoes for her, she never appreciated how good I was to her, so On this cruise I’m putting her to rest and tossing the witch/bitch overboard, mtephorically !!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. LOL! Oh how I can relate when someone does not appreciate your tomatoes. LOL. OMG. This made me smile. Like big. The image of you throwing someone that hurt you overboard, for some reason, makes me feel good. LOL.

        Liked by 1 person

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