Imagine someone important to you sitting in this chair. What would you say to this person that you’ve NEVER SAID before?

The Sandbox Writing Challenge 2018 — Exercise 16 . Posted by in Blogging , of Impromptu Promptlings.

Sorry For You.

 

Sorry, I wasn’t always there for you.

I’m sorry for your life of misery.

I’m so sorry, for writing this unhappy story.

And I couldn’t find your holy grail.

That sacred cup of water to cure the frail.

Sorry I couldn’t help or heal you.

I’m sorry for your life being wrong.

I’m so sorry, for playing this wordless song.

And I couldn’t find your holy grail.

That sacred cup of wine to cure the frail.

 

Sorry I didn’t travel every path for you.

I’m sorry for your life’s that lost.

I’m so sorry, for holding this worthless cross.

And I couldn’t find your golden grail.

That sacred cup of blood to cure the frail.

Sorry I couldn’t be stronger for you.

I’m very sorry, for your world that couldn’t be.

I’m very sorry, for walking on an empty sea.

And I couldn’t find your silver grail.

The angels vessel of purity, to no avail.

 

An old poem I wrote, when I was feeling guilty about my capabilities as a carer. I’m posting here, and thinking someone in a similar situation may read these words. Please do not feel guilty or inadequate, you’re not failing, and there’s really only so much that is possible. You’re not alone in having these insecure feelings, and please understand, us carer’s all go through these self doubts and confusing thoughts.

 

Ivor Steven.

Published by

ivor20

G'day, and welcome to my blog site. My name is Ivor Steven, I live in Geelong, Australia. I'm an ex-industrial chemist, and a retired plumber, and a former Carer of my wife(Carole), for 30 years, who suffered from severe MS. I Write poetry about those personal thoughts, throughout and beyond my life as a Carer. I've been blogging for over 2 years, and writing poems for 19 years. Of course a lot of my poems are about my favourite subject Carole, but since I've been blogging my writings have become quite varied, humourous, mystical, observational, and even a few monster/horror poems.

13 thoughts on “Imagine someone important to you sitting in this chair. What would you say to this person that you’ve NEVER SAID before?”

  1. You know that I had those same feelings. When my first wife was diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis I felt helpless and inadequate. The year became one of her being in and out of the hospital, visits to a crazy number of specialists, having oxygen for her wherever she was. There was nothing I could do to stop her from wasting away, watching her struggle for each breath. She was a nurse and knew what would eventually come. When the doctors said there was nothing more they could do, they arranged for in-home hospice care. We had a hospital bed set up in our dining room and when I brought her home she was ok for awhile and then fell asleep. The hospice nurse told me that she would probably not make it through the night. She told me the best thing I could do would be to keep telling her that it was ok to go, that even though she was unconscious she would hear me and it would make it easier for her knowing I was there and would be ok. I spent the whole night laying next to her and telling her it was ok to go and that Kevin (our son) and I would be ok. It’s been 15 years and I remember it like it was last night.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. We are twins again my friend. Of course your lovely story made me cry, but do not worry, I’m a Virtual living well of tears. And yes the memories are still vivid, We couldn’t move Carole out of hospital, she was too frail, so I went in and slept beside her for two weeks holding her hand and talking to her, and I know she heard me and felt me, every now and then she would give my hand a little grasp. …… All your words mean so much to me Walt, sincerely Thank You xx

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Bitter sweet memories. And yet, when a loved one is so unwell, it is a blessing and a relief all rolled into one when they are finally at rest. And those left behind can move forward with closure to a hard journey well fought. Bless you and Walt both.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ivor, I want you to know his nibs is the person (or at least one of them) you were supposed to reach with your message. He feels very much that way where my difficulties are concerned. I read it to him… ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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