Imagine someone important to you sitting in this chair. What would you say to this person that you’ve NEVER SAID before?

The Sandbox Writing Challenge 2018 — Exercise 16 . Posted by in Blogging

Sorry For You.

 

Sorry, I wasn’t always there for you.

I’m sorry for your life of misery.

I’m so sorry, for writing this unhappy story.

And I couldn’t find your holy grail.

That sacred cup of water to cure the frail.

Sorry I couldn’t help or heal you.

I’m sorry for your life being wrong.

I’m so sorry, for playing this wordless song.

And I couldn’t find your holy grail.

That sacred cup of wine to cure the frail.

 

Sorry I didn’t travel every path for you.

I’m sorry for your life’s that lost.

I’m so sorry, for holding this worthless cross.

And I couldn’t find your golden grail.

That sacred cup of blood to cure the frail.

Sorry I couldn’t be stronger for you.

I’m sorry, for your world that couldn’t be.

I’m very sorry, for walking on an empty sea.

And I couldn’t find your silver grail.

The angels vessel of purity, to no avail.

 

An old poem I wrote, when I was feeling guilty about my capabilities as a carer. I’m posting here, and thinking someone in a similar situation may read these words. Please do not feel guilty or inadequate, you’re not failing, and there’s really only so much that is possible. You’re not alone in having these insecure feelings, and please understand, us carer’s all go through these self doubts and confusing thoughts.

 

Ivor Steven.

Published by

ivor20

G'day, and welcome to my blog site. My name is Ivor Steven, I live in Geelong, Australia. I'm an ex-industrial chemist, and a retired plumber, and a former Carer of my wife(Carole), for 30 years, who suffered from severe MS. I Write poetry about those personal thoughts, throughout and beyond my life as a Carer. I've been blogging for over 2 years, and writing poems for 19 years. Of course a lot of my poems are about my favourite subject Carole, but since I've been blogging my writings have become quite varied, humourous, mystical, observational, and even a few monster/horror poems.

28 thoughts on “Imagine someone important to you sitting in this chair. What would you say to this person that you’ve NEVER SAID before?”

  1. Humans can be ever so hard on themselves. I am sure that there are other caregivers out there who have struggled with these feelings. It is a loving intention to connect with them through your poetry.

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      1. Well, you helped me, Ivor. I was my mother’s carer for a number of years, and occasionally my patience was running thin, and I feel guilty that at those trying times I wasn’t kinder. But my husband keeps telling me I did a wonderful job and gave her a lot of love. I suppose I need to write a poem about that, like you, in order to deal with the emotion of guilt.

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  3. Never mind the little notes everywhere, you need a dedicated book for all those little ideas, then you’ll never lose any. Though if you’re like me, you might find it becomes full of sticky notes! I love what you’ve written here Ivor and I wish I’d done something similar.

    We humans have this unfortunate habit of beating ourselves up when we lose a loved one. Almost from nowhere the guilt creeps in, and then we put them on a pedestal and somehow forget about the flaws.

    I practically built a shrine to my hubby until someone pointed out I had nothing to feel guilty about and told me to stop making out he was something he was not! Now I accept it as it is, we both did our best and that’s all any of us can do for one another.

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  5. How beautiful of you Ivor to reach out in understanding to support others. I have talked with many caregivers over the years (when I worked in protective services) who would have so quickly related to this. And appreciated it.

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