The Sandbox Writing Challenge 2018 — Exercise 17. Posted Blogging .
in
Stroke, And Who’s Left To Row The Boat
The storms are too many to count.
Emotional lows had weathered me out.
And there’s another poem I’d written.
“Olive Eyes”, when she was found to be broken.
Below I’ve attached the poem link.
How much lower could our life sink.
After fourteen years of our struggles, I suffered a Stroke.
An ambulance came, my brain was in a boat.
Floating out to sea, overboard and panic-stricken.
I wasn’t swimming, barely awake, and drifting.
I had fallen, nothing was working, and not talking.
She’s crying, I’m sobbing, my heart is dying.
And who’s left to row the boat, I’m thinking.
I was jabbed with a needle and silently sleeping.
I awoke a day later, in hospital, feeling wasted.
My face was limp, mouth parched, was that death I tasted.
My mind was active, I thought where is she.
I knew I was bad, the room was all blurry to me.
Strong anxieties had set in, I needed to know.
Nurses came to me, I pleaded, I wanted to go.
“Help me to see her, just give my bed a tow.
Please let me go, before I’m covered in snow”.
Ivor Steven (c) 2018
“Olive Eyes” link, https://ivors20.wordpress.com/2018/01/19/olive-eyes/
And yet you survived… It’s amazing what we can overcome sometimes. Beautiful poem… ❤️
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Thank you ❤️ Michelle, I’m happy you liked my poem, I wasn’t sure about how it would read to others. 😊
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I think it’s one of your best. 😉
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Oh wow, thanks, as you know it’s hard to see outside our own bubble. 😊
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Sometimes it is 😉
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It really doesn’t get much worse than that. You are a survivor
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Thanks Derrick, I’d like to think there’s time for a “Better Man”
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A beautiful recording I had never heard before
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I’m so pleased you enjoyed the song, it’s definitely a beautiful piece.
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I’m still listening to it!
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I play the song quite often, it’s become a fav of mine.
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I can’t know how terrifying that must have been Ivor…. and the whole while of it Carole is what mattered. Your love is very evident.
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Yes Colleen !! That’s all I could think of, while I was recovering over the next 9 months, at home with her. They were the most emotionally packed times of my life, I’m not sure how I got through, I suppose Love gave me strength, because mentally I thought I was spent, and it was the end.!!
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And look what you did Ivor. Look what you and Carole both did. ❤
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Impossible and unbelievable, and then incredible.
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That’s a post right there Ivor.
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Way to go Ivor. Glad to know you are okay now 🙂
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Yes I’m ok these days, almost a normal man again !!
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Wow! This is amazing and terrifying. What a storm you weathered! “Is that death I tasted?” Phew… I’m glad you are ok! 🙏🏻
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It was quite a battle back then, September 2000,
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Oh wow, so many lines that caught my attention. What an awful experience and you’ve written something amazing from it. 💕
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Thanks Arbie, it’s taken me 18 years to finally write something about those terrible times.
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Beautiful piece Ivor. Filled with both love and pain. Thank you for sharing your story my brother.
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Thank you Walt, I’ve never written about it before, it’s taken me 18 years to do a story. 😊
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And it’s wonderful. 🙂
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Lovely Ivor. I can see why you love that song so much. Perfect for you and Carole.
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Thanks Peter, we loved our music. 😊
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This one is so powerful – brilliant use of words. Loved the last line.
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Thank you ❤️ Jan, ah yes, that last line, it’s a nice finale 😊
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Oh, Ivor… That made me cry. I can imagine the horror you felt wondering who would take care of Carole were you not there. I would have been paralyzed with fear. That must have been a heck of a hurdle for you to get over. How long were you in the hospital? {{{Ivor}}}
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I just saw that you were at home with Carole recovering for 9 months. Did you guys both have a care giver then? Have you ever heard the song “Where’ve You Been” by Kathy Mattea?
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I did have carers for Carole, while I was receiving intensive hospital in the home treatment and rehabilitation, so they could get me fit enough to look after Carole again, and then Carole got a government care plan to have lots of carers for the rest of her life, approx 12 years xx
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I wasn’t in hospital very long, 2 weeks, they transferred me home, for intensive hospital in the home treatment and rehabilitation and so they could get Carole back home within 4 weeks. The trauma of the situation was incredible and beyond belief. I’m not sure how I got through, it’s still just one big blur .
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My brother-in-law had lung cancer and underwent some new chemo treatment. It cured the cancer, but during that time some radiation broke lose (it had traveled to his brain) and lodged itself in his brain. He has been paralyzed for three years now. My sister is half his size, and it amazes me watching her use hoists to move him from one place to another in the house. She just had surgery and can’t push or pull — which the hoists require some — so it’s been very difficult for her the last month. I guess we never know what we’re made of until we’re put to the test, eh? Too bad it doesn’t take the pain away…
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The pain is like the rain, it comes and goes, heavy and light.
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Whoops, I just left a comment , I think I got your sister and brother-in-law around the wrong way…. sorry… I’m tired and emotional today.
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Reblogged this on Impromptu Promptlings and commented:
Ivor’s response to Exercise 17 of the Sandbox Challenge made me totally dissolve in tears this morning. What a survivor he is, and how blessed his wife Carole was to have his love for her. Reading Ivor’s post reminded me so much of a Kathy Mattea song that makes me all teary every time I hear it. Don’t know if I can put it on a reblog or not…
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I’ll look the song up Calen, thank you ❤️
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Those were bad years (2000) without the care and knowledge we know of today. what we discovered since then in order to help stroke victims. Now, look at you, you did it to this day with love and persistence.
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Thank you ❤️ again Helene, a few times I thought the challenge was beyond me, and thanks for following my blog /website, muchly appreciated, I hope you enjoy reading my humble writings, and I’m from Geelong, Australia. Cheers. Ivor
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Beautiful.
Must have been so incredibly frightening for you as the caregiver- sometimes illness comes, though, when we need the time to rest and build strength again, and something tells me you were pretty strong for a long, long time.
❤
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Yes, you’re quite right I was stretching my body and mind to the limit, and in the end something had to give. 😊
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Such a terrible time for you both, and yet you recovered – because you had to… xxxx
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Ah yes Jane, you’ve hit the nail on the head, you’re the first one to have said the obvious 😊😙
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I’m good at the obvious xxx 🙂
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Yes, I had to get betterer, either that or toss it in. And of course I couldn’t do that to Carole 😊🙄
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Would it be sexist to say you have a feminine soul? Although I suppose you kept the masculine role of provider, as well as taking on the feminine role of carer.
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I didnt what I was feeling or doing, I think you might know, to the outside world I gave the impression that I was in control, but inside myself I was a total mess, full of stress anxiety, overwhelmed and overtired, crying nightly and thinking of jumping off this world, I suppose Carole’s smile and courage kept me going 😐
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You could have jumped, but you didn’t. You could have walked away. Many do – men and women. Instead, you did all you could for the woman you loved.
You know we all appreciate your poetry Ivor, but I don’t think that’s what has made you so many friends on WP. I think it’s the love in your heart. It shines out, and warms us xxx
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Thank you ❤️ Jane, your kindness and friendship has touched my heart and you’ve lifted my spirits for the day and my weekend. 😊 I hope you’re are coping well and feeling betterer now things are almost “normal” again xx
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I’m not sure what “normal” is 🙂
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Lol, that makes two of us 😎
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🙂
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Very good questions
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((((HUGS)))) Ivor, thank you for sharing your story…your story and words touch me deeply…
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Lol, it was a story that I hadn’t put to poetry 😊🙄
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Such strength and resilience, Ivor. You – YOU did it 🙂
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Thank you ❤️ Raili, I’m not how I survived, but as Jane Basil said, “because I had to” 🙄
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We sometimes think we know how we will behave and feel beforehand. And when the time comes, we surprise even ourselves. There is a deep well of inner strength or something that we seem to be able to tap into.
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Yes, I suppose I found the tap😊😎
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You did !
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Thank you, Ivor.
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This breaks my heart. What a tough time for you both. You are a warrior. ♥.
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I look back, and I wonder how we survived, but we did, Carole courageously and graciously stay for another 12 years, and now here I am…. 18 years on….
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Love leads us on a beautiful journey and rarely on paths we expect. ♥.
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