What Can I Do

Procrastination is the root of all procrastination…

  for her support and encouragement to present this piece of mine, which I thought was just a poem of jumbled emotions. Oh, and the answer to all of my procrastinating way back then, I decided to keep her at home, and we lived happily ever after. I didn’t listen to the advice of others, and in the end it was the best decision of my life, for me and for her …xx There’s a song to go with it, which coincidently came out after I wrote my poem….. Attached below.  The above featured picture was taken years after I had happily decided to keep her at home for the rest of her life……(She passed 9 months after this beautiful picture was taken, with her glorious “everlasting smile”.           https://ivors20.wordpress.com/2017/07/27/everlasting-smile/

What Can I Do

 

What am I expected to do

When is so much, too much to do

Why am I so scared, what can I do

What is the future, for me and for you

 

How will I say, I’m too tired for you

When is the day, to tell you

Will I hurt too much, to be without you

How will I know, when the time’s due

 

Why is it so, what can I do

Where is the place, I’m putting you

Why am I frightened, no, no, not easy to do

When I finally have to, and don’t want to

 

Who am I, to have this over you

What is the answer, for me and for you

Now or never, could that be true

How by myself, I’ll never be able to

 

Ivor Steven (c)  2018

Published by

ivor20

Hi, and welcome to my blog site. My name is Ivor Steven, I live in Geelong, Australia. I'm a retired, part-time plumber, and a former Carer of my wife(Carole), for 30 years, who suffered from severe MS. I Write poetry about those personal thoughts, throughout and beyond my life as a Carer. I've been blogging for 9 months, and writing poems for nearly 18 years. Of course a lot of my poems are about my favourite subject Carole, but since I've been blogging my writings have become quite varied, humourous, mystical, observational, and even a few monster/horror poems.

44 thoughts on “What Can I Do”

  1. Ivor… What a beautiful picture. Despite everything that was going on you both look so content. It’s a wonderful addition to your post. I’m so pleased you shared it with us. It’s nice to get to know BOTH of you! And I think you’d be amazed at how many care givers identify with what you said. I know my sister would. Greg has been paralyzed for three years now and she has to use all kinds of hoists to move him. She is currently getting a bid to put a lift in their house so he can be brought back upstairs to their main living area. He hasn’t been up there for three years now. He got to the point where she couldn’t move him even with mine and Arn’s help. I’m so excited that she’s doing this. I guess that’s one reason your poem touched me so much.

    As to pingbacks… When you type in Sandbox Writing Challenge 2018 as you did above, just go to the page where the challenge is and copy the address up at the top. Then all you have to do highlight SWC2018, click on the link picture in the tools and a box will come up where you can paste that address. Click the arrow and it turns SWC2018 into a link that will take you there when you click it and will also post your pingback on that page.

    (Go to this article and look halfway down the page to Word Press: https://www.inspiredbloggersuniversity.com/how-to-link-to-another-blog-2/ )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Calen, and I so hope your sister is able to obtain all the equipment possible, anything to make her tasks easier, please give her my best wishes….. And thank you for the tips, I’ll give it a go soon……

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes my friend I know, feeling helpless is a rotten emotion, but in the end the answer for me, was to simply give her all the love that I had, and then some more, and her everlasting smiles were my everyday rewards …….

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, there’s a big piece of my soul in these words, but I’m happy how I ended up making the right decision, I wrote this one a few years after my Stroke, and I really can’t desribe how tough life was, for me, and for her.

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      1. You have been through some awful times Ivor but you got through it and now you’re here with us in the bosom of your new family. I say you got through it but we both know that some things remain. They’re hidden underneath where no one else can see. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes Sue, I’ve hidden pieces, but I think I’m gradually sharing my inner soul and I think the process is good me. And chatting with understanding people like you definitely makes me feel more comfortable within myself, xx

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  2. Ivor, your love and care of Carole are so very evident in your words. Her love and joy are evident in these ‘snapshots’ you share with us. I have sat without a lot of spouses over the last 20 years who would SO very much know exactly what you mean. I can imagine their heads nodding as if they were reading and sharing these words.

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    1. Yes Colleen, I sometimes hope my words about my experiences are helping someone feel better about themselves, if I’ve helped just one such person, then I’d be a happy poet, 😊🙄

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  3. your decision to procrastinate made her the happiest woman. i love the old poem, it’s a voice that had doubts and insecurities but love triumphed eventually. i get so misty eyed reading about the beautiful romance you both shared. thank you for sharing the poem and the story of your lives.

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