Bohemian Lyrics (Revised)

Yesterday I spent most of day editing my manuscript with the help of good friend Claudia, who is a fellow member of the Geelong Writers Inc, and she edits and proof reads the Geelong Writers Anthologies, and she has very kindly offered to help me with the big task of editing my manuscript, and her reformatting of my book is going along fabulously. Her corrections and suggestions have been enlightening for me. Most of the time there’s only been punctuation corrections (I’m hopeless with commas), and a few word changes. But here with my poem ‘Bohemian Lyrics’ we were both unhappy with the way the last 2 stanza sounded, and so this morning I came up with this revised piece for my manuscript….

Bohemian Lyrics

What we imagine

And what is real

Are not the same deal

Dust, life’s spicks and specks

Are blended inside earth’s vortex

We are only our solar system’s subjects

And beyond gathering grey clouds

There is the stars sheltering shroud



Whatever the words, let them roll

Whatever the feelings, let them be our soul

Old lines drawn in the sand

May be erased by forgiving hands

Gaea’s liquid words caress the air we breathe

Capturing chords within the whispering trees


Time deflects in the end

Time rewinds and amends

Love is the world’s unwound relic

Love is an empty heart’s Bohemian lyric




Featured Image:  Pinterest….Gaia – (a. Celu, Gaea, Terra, Mother Earth) Greek goddess of the Earth.





Ivor Steven (c) Nov 2020

Published by

ivor20

G'day, and welcome to my blog site. My name is Ivor Steven, I live in Geelong, Australia. I'm an ex-industrial chemist, and a retired plumber, and a former Carer of my wife(Carole), for 30 years, who suffered from severe MS. I Write poetry about those personal thoughts, throughout and beyond my life as a Carer. I've been blogging for over 2 years, and writing poems for 19 years. Of course a lot of my poems are about my favourite subject Carole, but since I've been blogging my writings have become quite varied, humourous, mystical, observational, and even a few monster/horror poems.

20 thoughts on “Bohemian Lyrics (Revised)”

  1. This is lovely, Ivor.
    I was taught never to present anything without having someone else proofread first. Unfortunately, you and I can’t do that so we have to rely on our own eyes, but mine lie to me – I read what I think is on the page and not what is actually there!
    Hope all goes well. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Sue, and I’ve been so fortunate to have Claudia offer her expertise, to help me edit and proofread my Manuscript… I’m ecstatic…. 😀💙🌏

      Like

  2. How wonderful of Claudia to help you! This is a great revision. Love your message about forgiveness and love…and a reminder about time. 🙂
    Wonderful to hear that song again! I hadn’t listened to it in awhile. 🙂
    It always helps to have some-other’s eyes to proofread.
    I’m so excited about about your manuscript/book…it is FANTASTIC! Did you know your poems are a wonderful highlight to each day?! I feel so honored! 🙂
    (((HUGS))) 🙂

    Like

    1. Hi Carolyn, I am so blessed to have Claudia offer her expertise and help me out with my Manuscript… I’ve known her threw the Geelong Writers group for a number of years, and she’s always liked poems, and she’s enjoying reading my manuscript and working with me..
      … but I’m amazed at how good she is, the polish she’s putting onto my words and format is simply incredible…… and yes my book is starting look quite professional… she’s making my poems look impressive…. and she’s designed the layout very cleverly… so that each chapter starts are always on righthand leaf… we have a few lank pages though, … which is fabulous, and will allow for a few illustrations…. ‘Yep’… for my dear niece Kerri to do some artwork… this is all so exciting.. 🎈💙📘📖😀😊

      Liked by 2 people

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