Throwback Friday, Sorry for You, by Ivor Steven

I tried to ‘reblog’ this article from the “Go Dog Go Cafe” site, but it wouldn’t work for me, so I have reconstructed the post for my site…

Today I am presenting at poem I wrote 12 years ago….. when I was feeling guilty about my capabilities as a carer. I’m posting here, and thinking someone in a similar situation may read these words. Please do not feel guilty or inadequate, you’re not failing, and there’s really only so much that is possible. You’re not alone in having these insecure feelings, and please understand, us carer’s all go through these self doubts and confusing thoughts.

Sorry for You

Sorry I was not always there for you

I am sorry for your life of misery

I am so sorry, for writing this unhappy story

I could not find your holy grail

That sacred cup of water to cure the frail

Sorry I could not help or heal you

I am sorry for your life being wrong

I am so sorry, for playing this wordless song

I could not find your holy grail

That sacred cup of wine to cure the frail

Sorry I did not travel every path for you

I am sorry for your life’s that is lost

I am so sorry, for holding this worthless cross

I could not find your golden grail

That sacred cup of blood to cure the frail

Sorry I could not be stronger for you

I am sorry, for your world that could not be

I am deeply sorry, for walking on an empty sea

I could not find your silver grail

That angel’s vessel of purity, to no avail

My new book “Tullawalla”, is due to be released on 30th March, and for preorder, here are the links

Barnes and Noble..  Tullawalla by Ivor Steven, Kerri Costello, Hardcover | Barnes & Noble® ( 

Amazon.. Tullawalla eBook: Steven, Ivor, Costello, Kerri, Harris, patricia: Books

Ivor Steven (c) March 2021

Published by


G'day, and welcome to my blog site. My name is Ivor Steven, I live in Geelong, Australia. I'm an ex-industrial chemist, and a retired plumber, and a former Carer of my wife(Carole), for 30 years, who suffered from severe MS. I Write poetry about those personal thoughts, throughout and beyond my life as a Carer. I've been blogging for over 2 years, and writing poems for 19 years. Of course a lot of my poems are about my favourite subject Carole, but since I've been blogging my writings have become quite varied, humourous, mystical, observational, and even a few monster/horror poems.

20 thoughts on “Throwback Friday, Sorry for You, by Ivor Steven”

  1. There’s, so much regret in your words, and, eventually, we can be, everyone and everything to someone who needs us to be that, and eventually, we come to realize, that all we can do, is all, we already, did, then, we let our selves, off the, hook.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Beautiful. You have nothing to be sorry about!

    Regarding the re-blog. That sometimes happens to me too. I usually come out of WordPress and go online to visit the site and the it works.. For me anyway. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aw…such a powerful heart-touching poem. We can all relate to your words and emotions, Ivor, relating to a person or situation in our own lives…wishing we could’ve done more. I’m SURE you did an amazing job and Carole was so VERY grateful to have you with her as she faced what life had thrown at her. I’m SURE you were THE One she wanted there, and you were there. Be kind to yourself. I’m sure she’s saying, with a smile, “No need to apologize.” ❤ 🙂
    (((HUGS))) 🙂
    PS…That song always gets to me in the heart and soul.
    PPS…This poem will be of comfort and encouragement to others who feel this way. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tanks Carolyn…. yes I know I did my best… but I still had guilt feelings … and i’m afraid that was normal … they are part of wanting/wishing for her to be comfortable as possible … and those continuing questions… am I doing enough … can I do more… but I know in the end … I could not do ‘more’ … ‘more’ was not possible … and I knew the ‘end’ was near…. and watching her last 5 years was completely heart wrenching … but here I am… I coped … ((Smiles)) & ((Hugs))

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, most everyone feels the guilt, the could-I-have-done-more’s, etc. 😦 I’ve felt that when caring for ill and/or dying family and friends. 😦
        But, we must move on from that, because I know they were grateful for our presence and help. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes we move on graciously knowing we did well..
        oh the poem is over a decade ago… I didn’t put it in the book, because I suppose it was just too personal and emotional for readers like…

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Ivor, your words resonate for all carers – whether spouse or parent or adult child. It is love that makes us feel this way and your love for Carole is so evident in your words. Wishing you the best with your book! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Irma, I’m sorry if I’ve missed some of your posts lately. .. I’ve been totally consumed by my book launch week/a .. it’s been exciting, hectic, and tiring 😍😄😎

      Liked by 1 person

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