G'day, and welcome to my blog site. My name is Ivor Steven, I live in Geelong, Australia. I'm an ex-industrial chemist, and a retired plumber, and a former Carer of my wife(Carole), for 30 years, who suffered from severe MS. I Write poetry about those personal thoughts, throughout and beyond my life as a Carer.
I've been blogging for over 2 years, and writing poems for 19 years. Of course a lot of my poems are about my favourite subject Carole, but since I've been blogging my writings have become quite varied, humourous, mystical, observational, and even a few monster/horror poems.
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I understand how you feel. I feel exactly the same when I have to go back to the hospital where Graham died. You remember all those out patient visits, the inpatient stay, the tests the chemo and his room which overlooked the car park. No getting away from it.
You need to focus on you, leave the past where it belongs. For now just rest, let them look after you and get yourself better. π xx
Yes I lots of chat and warm hearts, and thanks for your beautiful card, I hope you was going a longer reply, but I started crying, just Ivor, being Ivor ππ
Itβs tough, I know. I remember the first time I went to the hospital where my mother spent time and where she died and passing the room she was in the last time. I almost didnβt get off the elevator. Remember the good memories Ivor and concentrate on getting better.
Oh, I didn’t know it was the same hospital. π¦
That has to be so VERY difficult! π¦
Please try to focus on good memories. And know that Carole is there with you.
You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
(((HUGS)))
I feel what you are going through dear friend. My first wife was in and out of the hospital the last year of her life. Many hours spent with her in the ER and then a room. She was a nurse and knew the codes they used in the wall boards. She was suffering from idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis and had trouble breathing. The chart code was DIB for difficulty in breathing. She worked in a nursing home and there all the nurses said it meant Dead In Bed. FTD meant Fixin To Die. Nurse dark humor I guess. Hope you feel better soon Ivor. You are in my prayers. π
Yes, I think it’s important to keep the humour up. I’m going home soon, but my treatment is to be continued at home, via a hospital in the home services, and the the community nurse comes to my house. I’m feeling ok, but super tired. Hopefully I’ll get a good sleep tonight. Thanks old friend π
I’m home now Walt, a little bit of tidying before the nurse comes in the morning and then I’m off to bed, It’ll be 8.30pm, and I’m tiring quickly, nite, nite my friend.
Hi Walt, it’s 2.45am, and I’ve had a very confused sleep, I’ve been hot and cold and hallucinating, so many drugs have been pumped into my system !! Just now I feel I’m settling down and hopefully I can get a few more hours sleep. Catch you later mate π when the nurse comes with more antibiotics !! π
Thank you for that Ingrid. .. I was undergoing a reflective self assessment of life and how much Carole had shape the person I was becoming ππππ
The hospital experience can be a sobering one, for sure. We enter wheeled in from the paramedics’ van, rumbling down the beige hallways with their calming colors, and enter the emergency ward, where we realize that we’re in trouble — trouble.
Thank you Arlene … they were flashback memories while I laying there … but overall I felt strengthened but those associations from the past … ππβΊπ
Oh! I see I commented on this blog some time ago.
Such tough memories. But, I’m so glad you have remained strong. And when you share your feelings so many of can relate. You help us and what we are going through. Thank you!
β€ and (((HUGS)))
Yes, I’ve been “there”…I remember especially when I was going through cancer…everyone’s words here on WP were so helpful and comforting and inspiring to me. π
We can carry people’s good words with us in our minds and hearts so no matter we go…we are never alone. π
Lovely Ivor. Bitter sweet memories.
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Yes Peter, death and healing, it’s part of our journey. π
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Thinking of you, Ivor.
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Thanks David
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I understand how you feel. I feel exactly the same when I have to go back to the hospital where Graham died. You remember all those out patient visits, the inpatient stay, the tests the chemo and his room which overlooked the car park. No getting away from it.
You need to focus on you, leave the past where it belongs. For now just rest, let them look after you and get yourself better. π xx
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Oh, I’ve got nurses with me that nursed Carole, half the hospital here still remembers Carole, and it’s hard, but I’m coping ok. Thanks Sue β€οΈ
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I assumed youβd be on a different medical ward. It must be nice to see them though. π
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Yes I lots of chat and warm hearts, and thanks for your beautiful card, I hope you was going a longer reply, but I started crying, just Ivor, being Ivor ππ
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Itβs tough, I know. I remember the first time I went to the hospital where my mother spent time and where she died and passing the room she was in the last time. I almost didnβt get off the elevator. Remember the good memories Ivor and concentrate on getting better.
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Thank you β€οΈ Fran’s, it’s one those experiences we can’t afford, but I’m coping ok πxx
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Happy to hear that
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check your e-mails and the spam folder. Xx
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Ok, I shall look soon Sue π
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Goodnight Ivor, itβs my bedtime. Have a good day with plenty of restπ
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ouch hadn’t realised it was the same hospital … hang in there, heal well and escape soon!
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I’m healing ok, but I’ve just had more blood tests done. Thanks Kate, I’m coping ok xx
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lol I am sure you are being very well cared for Ivor … just hoping that the location doesn’t push too many buttons!
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Lots of buttons, but going ok today and coping well, I’m writing my poem helped, xx
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Oh Ivor! The depth of your love shows in your beautiful memories. Glad you are with nurses who remember her fondly as well. β€οΈβ€οΈ
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Yes it’s been a heart warming experiment for me here, except that I’ve been π€ π, but maybe I get to go home today π
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Yes to going home! But are you feeling better? Did they find what was wrong?
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I’m going home with hospital in the home services, so I’ll be still getting the same treatment in the comfort of my home π‘ π
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Oh so much better to be surrounded by the comforts of home. Rest up dear man! Will continue to send healing vibes your way….
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Yes I’ll be able to catch up on my sleep, π
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Oh, I didn’t know it was the same hospital. π¦
That has to be so VERY difficult! π¦
Please try to focus on good memories. And know that Carole is there with you.
You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
(((HUGS)))
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I feel what you are going through dear friend. My first wife was in and out of the hospital the last year of her life. Many hours spent with her in the ER and then a room. She was a nurse and knew the codes they used in the wall boards. She was suffering from idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis and had trouble breathing. The chart code was DIB for difficulty in breathing. She worked in a nursing home and there all the nurses said it meant Dead In Bed. FTD meant Fixin To Die. Nurse dark humor I guess. Hope you feel better soon Ivor. You are in my prayers. π
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Yes, I think it’s important to keep the humour up. I’m going home soon, but my treatment is to be continued at home, via a hospital in the home services, and the the community nurse comes to my house. I’m feeling ok, but super tired. Hopefully I’ll get a good sleep tonight. Thanks old friend π
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Do what they tell you and don’t overdo it. π
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Yes Pop !!
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lol!! I heard that so many times after my open heart surgery. π
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I’m home now Walt, a little bit of tidying before the nurse comes in the morning and then I’m off to bed, It’ll be 8.30pm, and I’m tiring quickly, nite, nite my friend.
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Hoping you slept well son.
Love, Pop
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Hi Walt, it’s 2.45am, and I’ve had a very confused sleep, I’ve been hot and cold and hallucinating, so many drugs have been pumped into my system !! Just now I feel I’m settling down and hopefully I can get a few more hours sleep. Catch you later mate π when the nurse comes with more antibiotics !! π
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Then meds I have to take turn me into a walking zombie, so I can relate.Catch you later brother. π
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your last line made me feel so much sadness from your heart Ivor. memories intensify the pain
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Yes the memories did hit me hard, but settled down ok and coped very well, I think Carole was laughing at me being in hospital and sick.
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Such triggers hit hard. You are doing so well
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Thank you Derrick, for understanding so well.
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Awww Ivor…
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β€οΈ
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Ah such a touching poem Ivor.
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Thank you Sadje⦠lots of time laying there deep in thoughts
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Youβre welcome! I can imagine. How you wrote poetry was remarkable though.
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Now that I that I look back … I’m surprised myself Sadje ..
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I think it was your willpower which kept you going and writing
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I feel as though even your hospital stay brought you closer together! β€οΈ
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Thank you for that Ingrid. .. I was undergoing a reflective self assessment of life and how much Carole had shape the person I was becoming ππππ
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Hi Ivor, it will take a life time to read your poems – I enjoy your reflections.
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The hospital experience can be a sobering one, for sure. We enter wheeled in from the paramedics’ van, rumbling down the beige hallways with their calming colors, and enter the emergency ward, where we realize that we’re in trouble — trouble.
— Catxman
http://www.catxman.wordpress.com
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Yes .. double trouble … and then somehow after emergency things got betterer …
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Take care Ivor.. Hospitals can be very traumatic I’m sure you’ll have all the strengths to get through this.
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Thank you for your kind concern ..
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Sad tale Ivor, I like it though. Memories are reborn.
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Thank you Arlene … they were flashback memories while I laying there … but overall I felt strengthened but those associations from the past … ππβΊπ
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Stay strong, Ivor! I feel that since you were able to pen your emotions, you will be closer to healing. β€οΈ
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Yes indeed Eugenia .. the writing process was definitely very therapeutic for me πππ
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π
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Oh! I see I commented on this blog some time ago.
Such tough memories. But, I’m so glad you have remained strong. And when you share your feelings so many of can relate. You help us and what we are going through. Thank you!
β€ and (((HUGS)))
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Thank you Carolyn for your kindness back then .. itβs hard to explain .. but all of those comments I received in hospital were important to me, and definitely helped me throughout my recovery β€οΈβπ©Ή
Especially during my 3 weeks of βisolationβ πππ
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I totally understand how they helped. π
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I’m happy you understand .. I just cannot explain how I felt in words … πππβ
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Yes, I’ve been “there”…I remember especially when I was going through cancer…everyone’s words here on WP were so helpful and comforting and inspiring to me. π
We can carry people’s good words with us in our minds and hearts so no matter we go…we are never alone. π
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Yes indeed Carolyn .. I think thatβs what I am trying to say πππ
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This is so touching. Hospitals are difficult places to be in.
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I managed ok … my poetry writing were very therapeutic for me and helped me pas away the time ..
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I am very glad to know. Poetry is such a savior.
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Wow great poem for such a scary time Ivor!! and a looooong time in a damn hospital! π
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Thank you Cindy. .. some vivid memories πππ€
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I see that .. welcome π
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