Don’t Ask Me Why

Hi dear readers, I’ve found this old poem in my folder of poetry called “Love And Reflection”. I’ve changed a few words, so the poem is in the present tense, but basically the words are in the same format. I’ve had it hidden away for a while, the poem is quite personal and emotional for me, I hope you enjoy reading my words from 6 years ago.

Don’t Ask Me Why

 

Unknowingly, I often dream of her serene ashen face

Years ago, I gently held her frailty in my tired arms

Softly I whispered to her, my last words of love and grace

Don’t ask me why, I count the moons since I missed her charms

Because I cannot give you a sensible or plausible answer

Don’t ask me why, I count the stars since I lost my way

Because I’m unable to fathom the depths of my inner cancer

Don’t ask me why, I count my every heart beat, since she died that day

Because now, I’ve nearly recovered

And somehow, life has been steadily rediscovered

Remembering, she’ll never ever go away

Knowing someday, I’ll be allowed to stay

 

Ivor Steven (c)  2019

Hold Me.

Today is Saturday 22nd of December 2018, 7.00am, and I’ve been home a night, after basically a six week stay in hospital. I’m not over all my problems yet, I’m very tired, both physically and mentally, and it’s going to take me a while to recover. hopefully I’ll end up ok. Anyhow, It’s lovely to be home, and I thought I’d repost this old poem of mine,please enjoy.

Take me to my home

Home is where my heart is

Home’s on that windy hill

Above a secret valley

Hovering, a heavenly cloud

Take me to my home

I’m waiting here alone

All packed ready to go

Vacating this old place

Leaving this world behind

Take me to my home

The beyond will be greener

I know you’ll be there

You’ve been waiting so long

I know you’ll hold me again

Hold me in our home

Ivor Steven (c)  2018.

Cannot See

The tree is murky green

Beyond it’s cloudy grey

Like the heaven’s are caving in

Collapsing from below

From the devil’s chasm to the distant horizon

To the horizon I cannot see

I cannot see tomorrow’s colours

Nor the colours of today’s sky

Ivor Steven (c) 2018

Down Along The River Bed

The Geelong Writers Anthology book launch is on tonight, and this is one of my poems that I was fortunate enough to have published in the Anthology. I suppose the words seem to be quite appropriate, considering my continual long stay here in hospital. I’m supposed to be going home in the afternoon, however, sadly my old body parts will not be strong enough to go to the book launch this evening.

I arose from the dead

Uncovering pieces of me, I dread

Old body parts I must shread

Blobs of fatty tissue to shed

Sinkers of lead inside my head

Drag me down along the river bed

A stainless steel ankle plate

More than an arthritic ache

Pins and needles spike my heel

Soon I’ll need pump-up wheels

My unrepaired tear ducts

Flowing cascades

Pour over etched eye facets

Like flooded Everglades

Black-metal lays upon my soul

Eclipsing my deepest goals

Darkened shrapnel shards

Deal me unforeseen tarot cards

There’s a hole in my heart

Where a silver coated bullet

Fired from an empty pulpit

Ripped my senses apart

If I throw out the truth

What remains of myself

I might as well be dead

Only words left inside my head

Ivor Steven (c) 2018

Haiku. A Flower Gone

This haiku was a very sad piece for me to write. Personally, the words are an ode/tribute to our grandniece, Georgia, who was only 20…… Please, I’m ok, I’m wishing my words are appropriately good enough for the poor child lost….

A Flower Gone

In a sea of lights

She, an unpicked bloom, wilted

Young and fresh, now gone

Ivor Steven (c) 2018

Level Seven

I’m here on level seven

I might nearly see heaven

Suddenly the great wall slaps me hard

With a soul shattering boom

My heart recites to me, her tune of doom

A building of gray bricks

Comes crashing down on me

I’m crying remorseful tears

‘Twas her hospital for thirty years

We would always either be home or here

Backwards and forwards

Short visits, long stays

Inside out, upside down

Wounded hopes, broken dreams

Decades of her gracious courage, never undenied

Now I lay on her memories, here she died

Ivor Steven (c) 2018

A Blue Shark In My bed

I’m lying in bed, hallucinating

They’ve given me too many pain killers

Swimming between soaked sheets

In an ocean of hot sweat

I see a blue shark in my bed

Angrily circling me

That killers glint in his eyes

His giant jaws open wide

And he viciously bites me

Piercing my lower neck

And poking my left eye out

My blood is boiling on the red sea

 

If this is hell, please ring the bell

I shall pray to save my soul, and be set free

I’m swirling in drugs, I cannot think

My eyes are shut, I cannot blink

Where are you mum

I was always your number one

She’d make me my favourite cake

A passion-fruit sponge she’d bake

I sense a benevolent friend, if he’s not too late

Smuggling me a gun, past white guards, inside mum’s cake

 

To you who cannot see me, I’m an ancient fable

Who’s about to leave the table

With the rest of the disabled

I’ll look for you, in your higher stables

How can I find my way back

I’ve lost my winding track

Life for me cannot be the same

I’m not recovering, I’m losing the game

Forgotten my name and where to aim

Destiny has me old and lame

 

 

Ivor  Steven (c)  2018